ǰìLife for a man is harder than life for a woman. We need to have a lot of s*** to be an important man.
Advice from Scott Galloway
To be a woman, you need makeup. If you're truly beautiful, you could stay at home, you could find a man to rescue you. MEN don't get that. Nobofy's coming to recue any man.
On social media and YouTube, young men get a lot of advice about what it means to be a man these days, and the role they should be playing in society, and why the situation that they may find themselves in isn't fair.
Notes on Being a Man.
The notion somehow that women's ascent has had anything to do with the struggles of young men is false. Also when they start blaming immigrants for their economic problems or women for their romantic problems- that too is false.
There's just no denying young men are struggling.
But to just skip to the reasons, some of it's biological. Literally, their prefrontal cortex is 18 months behind.
Much of it is economic. All young people have seen their wages decline as a percentage of GDP over the last 40 years. Some of it is educational.
There is an education bias against boys, twice as likely to be suspended for the exact same behavior, five times as likely if you're a Black boy. 70%, 80% of primary school teachers are women.
Men STILL have the incredible unearned advantage we garnered pre social revolution.
Conversations get more productive if the people leading the conversation are mothers.
If your son is in the basement playing video games and vaping consider that one in seven men are neither in education, employment or training.
The single one anti-masculine, one anti-youth enemy, would is pervasive big tech.
They increase market capitalization They sequester youth from family, friends, work, and school by keeping them glued to their phone and a young man's immature brain is more hungry and sensitive to DOPAMINE is finding more and more reasons to have a reasonable facsimile of life - just online.
Why have friends when you have Discord and Reddit? Why go into work when you can trade stocks or crypto? And why would you go through the rejection, humiliation, and expense of trying to find a romantic partner when you've synthetic life like porn?
These tech companies are literally trying to evolve a new species of asocial asexual males.
The entire US economy IS separating young people from the most important thing in their life, and that is their real in person relationships.
What it means to be a man?
Just imagine the kind of friend, partner, son, uncle, co-worker you want to be and hold yourself to that standard and stop keeping score.
The first thing, your advantage is time. Take kids who dropped out of high school and are struggling a little - find 8 to 12 hours a week of human capital on your phone.
Do you want to grab a game this weekend or to a romantic interest you want to have a cup of coffee?
Recognize that nothing wonderful is gonna happen to you unless you take some risks and that the only really meaningful, profound things in life happen offline.
Every study across ethnographies, geographies, cultures, income levels says the same thing. It's the number of deep and meaningful relationships you have that count.
Your happiness, your success, your economic stability is inversely correlated to the amount of time you spend on a string. Get outdoors, touch grass, touch nature.
Making money and finding friends and romantic partners has worked, but it can't be the sole purpose or mission. A lot of men need to work on themselves, and a lot of men aren't going to achieve those things.
Men are evaluated in our society based on their economic viability I'd like to think we live in a world where character and kindness and service count more they don't.
A young man should start out with the basic notion that he needs to be economically viable for a lot of reasons. Prosperity should default to protector.
Our male role models right now fall down. Men will always look up to the world's richest man and the president of the United States because they won the game of capitalism by being the most powerful person in the world. They fail the masculinity test BECAUSE they don't translate their prosperity and blessings into protection. They punch down. They conflate masculinity with coarseness and cruelty.
A man's default operating system should be protection. Women should feel safe on the subway because there're men there. It's not just physical, if people are being critical of someone behind someone's back, the default operating system should be to protect that person.
If you see a community being demonized, your default mechanism as a man, the operating system should be to protect them. After that then procreation.
Young men's desire for romantic and sexual relationships is healthy and for the most part, it turns them into better men.
They smell better, they shower, they dress better, they work out, they have a plan. You need to develop persistence. You need be interesting, more well-read.
I think the desire to have relationships and sex, if channeled in the right way, makes men better men.
While there's overlap with great feminine qualities, these attributes just make you more human, so be a better human.
Young men relate to the notion of masculinity when it's framed in an aspirational framework.
The greatest combination of happiness or alchemy of happiness in households is a mix of masculine and feminine energy.
Men STILL have the incredible unearned advantage we garnered pre social revolution.
Take that responsibility seriously to help young men who don't have the same wind in their sails.
We have a homeless and an opiate problem, but more accurately, we have a male opiate and homeless problem. Men are three times as likely to be homeless or addicted and 12 times as like to be incarcerated.
We have to acknowledge the huge challenges women face. Recently in the US, with the overturn of Roe v. Wade, this is the first time in the history of America that a right has been taken away, and it is an attack on poor women because the people who are against bodily autonomy still want to make sure they have a back door in case one of their loved ones has an planned pregnancy.
Non-white, Latino and Black households in America have an average net worth of $22,000. White families, $160,000. Inequity.
We have a homeless and an opiate problem, but more accurately, we have a male opiate and homeless problem. Men are three times as likely to be homeless or addicted and 12 times as like to be incarcerated.
We have to acknowledge the huge challenges women face. Recently in the US, with the overturn of Roe v. Wade, this is the first time in the history of America that a right has been taken away, and it is an attack on poor women because the people who are against bodily autonomy still want to make sure they have a back door in case one of their loved ones has an planned pregnancy.
Non-white, Latino and Black households in America have an average net worth of $22,000. White families, $160,000. Inequity.
[Note - health is most strongly correlated to income, income is most strongly correlated to education]
We acknowledge there are still huge challenges facing women and non-white families while also recognizing that young men are really struggling.
Women were sold a lie that if they were economically successful and became professionally successful, they ended up alone, childless, and miserable. That's just ridiculous.
The biggest source of stress in my life growing up was not that fatherS leave. The stress comes the single mom having no money.
So yes celebrate women's economic progress. If it hadn't been for women in the factories in World War II, World War II would have gone on two or three years longer.[ more dead soldiers]
Women's entry into the workforce in the 60s and 70s and 80s enhanced economic prosperity.
We acknowledge there are still huge challenges facing women and non-white families while also recognizing that young men are really struggling.
Women were sold a lie that if they were economically successful and became professionally successful, they ended up alone, childless, and miserable. That's just ridiculous.
The biggest source of stress in my life growing up was not that fatherS leave. The stress comes the single mom having no money.
So yes celebrate women's economic progress. If it hadn't been for women in the factories in World War II, World War II would have gone on two or three years longer.[ more dead soldiers]
Women's entry into the workforce in the 60s and 70s and 80s enhanced economic prosperity.
Now advocating for men may vause a natural gag reflex in women.
Conversations get more productive if the people leading the conversation are mothers.
If your son is in the basement playing video games and vaping consider that one in seven men are neither in education, employment or training.
They're doing nothing. 62% of men under the age of 30 say they have given up on dating. They're not even trying.
Some may tell you it's not your fault and then start blaming easily identifiable special interest groups
Some may tell you it's not your fault and then start blaming easily identifiable special interest groups
Society, educators, and dads and mentors, have to show our young men that while things are harder for their young men, they still have agency.
Incel are involuntarily celibate. Some would argue a lot of those men are voluntarily celibate.
Its natural to want a girlfriend as a young man, natural to really want to have sex as young man, but those six-two, hundred and forty pounders with bad acne and quite frankly no plan and not a lot of skills, they are not going to track a lot a mates.
So worked on yourself and work hard to get in the college or university, and work out. Take risks. Approach people. Sure, apply for jobs you may not be qualified for.
Incel are involuntarily celibate. Some would argue a lot of those men are voluntarily celibate.
Its natural to want a girlfriend as a young man, natural to really want to have sex as young man, but those six-two, hundred and forty pounders with bad acne and quite frankly no plan and not a lot of skills, they are not going to track a lot a mates.
So worked on yourself and work hard to get in the college or university, and work out. Take risks. Approach people. Sure, apply for jobs you may not be qualified for.
Young men should stop thinking that they are resigned to be alone and that it's someone else's fault, and they need to level up their own game.
Society has a responsibility to acknowledge a lot of the ON ramps to middle class that made men economically viable have gone away.
75% of women say economic viability is now key to a mate. It's only 25% for a woman say men.
Men need to take more agency. Leveling up all young people. Affirmative action for men means leveling up all young people and restoring economic prosperity through less costly housing, building more houses, $25 an hour minimum wage, universal child care. These things will have a disproportionately positive effect on young men who are unfairly evaluated on their economic viability
Women are unfair evaluated on their esthetics.
The elephant in the room,
Society has a responsibility to acknowledge a lot of the ON ramps to middle class that made men economically viable have gone away.
75% of women say economic viability is now key to a mate. It's only 25% for a woman say men.
Men need to take more agency. Leveling up all young people. Affirmative action for men means leveling up all young people and restoring economic prosperity through less costly housing, building more houses, $25 an hour minimum wage, universal child care. These things will have a disproportionately positive effect on young men who are unfairly evaluated on their economic viability
Women are unfair evaluated on their esthetics.
The elephant in the room,
The single one anti-masculine, one anti-youth enemy, would is pervasive big tech.
They increase market capitalization They sequester youth from family, friends, work, and school by keeping them glued to their phone and a young man's immature brain is more hungry and sensitive to DOPAMINE is finding more and more reasons to have a reasonable facsimile of life - just online.
Why have friends when you have Discord and Reddit? Why go into work when you can trade stocks or crypto? And why would you go through the rejection, humiliation, and expense of trying to find a romantic partner when you've synthetic life like porn?
These tech companies are literally trying to evolve a new species of asocial asexual males.
The entire US economy IS separating young people from the most important thing in their life, and that is their real in person relationships.
What it means to be a man?
Stand up to one's father? They may back down
If you have have no idea what to do don't do anything. That is the common response among nine-year-olds.
The best thing you can do for your sons is to treat their mother well, even if you're divorced. That's gonna be their primary role model for how they approach women the rest of their lives.
Just imagine the kind of friend, partner, son, uncle, co-worker you want to be and hold yourself to that standard and stop keeping score.
The first thing, your advantage is time. Take kids who dropped out of high school and are struggling a little - find 8 to 12 hours a week of human capital on your phone.
And ask them to unlock their phones find it on Twitter, X, TikTok, YouPorn, Coinbase.
Do three things.
One, we're going to get fit.
We're gonna work out.
You're gonna be less depressed, you're gonna feel better about yourself.
You're going be more attractive to mates.
We're gonna work out.
You're gonna be less depressed, you're gonna feel better about yourself.
You're going be more attractive to mates.
Two, make some money.
If you have a smartphone and you're able-bodied, you can make a little bit of money.
Panera's looking for people at 18 bucks an hour, TaskRabbit, ride hailing company.
Because once you get a taste of money in a capitalist society, you start learning how to operate in capitalism you need to make some money and then
Panera's looking for people at 18 bucks an hour, TaskRabbit, ride hailing company.
Because once you get a taste of money in a capitalist society, you start learning how to operate in capitalism you need to make some money and then
third
put yourself in the company of strangers and working on a non-profit a sports league, religious institution and then after we're there for a month make an approach by expressing friendship.
put yourself in the company of strangers and working on a non-profit a sports league, religious institution and then after we're there for a month make an approach by expressing friendship.
Do you want to grab a game this weekend or to a romantic interest you want to have a cup of coffee?
Keep in the objective ,in the goal, IF they say no, you're going to call the next day, and ask, are you okay?
You're going say yes, say, are they okay?
We're going realize that every great 'yes' in life comes from a series of no's, and you need to build calluses and start getting to know yourself.
We're going get strong, we're gonna make some money, we are going to develop the most important competence for success in life, and that's the ability to endure rejection.
Recognize that nothing wonderful is gonna happen to you unless you take some risks and that the only really meaningful, profound things in life happen offline.
Every study across ethnographies, geographies, cultures, income levels says the same thing. It's the number of deep and meaningful relationships you have that count.
Your happiness, your success, your economic stability is inversely correlated to the amount of time you spend on a string. Get outdoors, touch grass, touch nature.
Making money and finding friends and romantic partners has worked, but it can't be the sole purpose or mission. A lot of men need to work on themselves, and a lot of men aren't going to achieve those things.
Men are evaluated in our society based on their economic viability I'd like to think we live in a world where character and kindness and service count more they don't.
A young man should start out with the basic notion that he needs to be economically viable for a lot of reasons. Prosperity should default to protector.
Our male role models right now fall down. Men will always look up to the world's richest man and the president of the United States because they won the game of capitalism by being the most powerful person in the world. They fail the masculinity test BECAUSE they don't translate their prosperity and blessings into protection. They punch down. They conflate masculinity with coarseness and cruelty.
A man's default operating system should be protection. Women should feel safe on the subway because there're men there. It's not just physical, if people are being critical of someone behind someone's back, the default operating system should be to protect that person.
If you see a community being demonized, your default mechanism as a man, the operating system should be to protect them. After that then procreation.
Young men's desire for romantic and sexual relationships is healthy and for the most part, it turns them into better men.
They smell better, they shower, they dress better, they work out, they have a plan. You need to develop persistence. You need be interesting, more well-read.
I think the desire to have relationships and sex, if channeled in the right way, makes men better men.
While there's overlap with great feminine qualities, these attributes just make you more human, so be a better human.
Young men relate to the notion of masculinity when it's framed in an aspirational framework.
The greatest combination of happiness or alchemy of happiness in households is a mix of masculine and feminine energy.
95% of those born as binary have an easier time leaning into certain attributes of masculinity or femininity when they're framed in a positive aspirational way that doesn't take away from the rights or the dignity or the grace we offer the non-binary community
Do not conflate masculinity with coarseness and cruelty.
If you want to be part of the resistance, you have to go behind enemy lines and you have to talk about this stuff and understand the other side.
There's got to be some form of masculinity that is somewhere in the middle that says, all right, boys need more exercise and are more rambunctious.
Do not conflate masculinity with coarseness and cruelty.
If you want to be part of the resistance, you have to go behind enemy lines and you have to talk about this stuff and understand the other side.
There's got to be some form of masculinity that is somewhere in the middle that says, all right, boys need more exercise and are more rambunctious.
When you tell kids to sit still, be organized, be a pleaser, raise their hand you're just describing a girl, and that our K through 12 educational system with 70 to 80% female teachers might be biased against boys.
Any young man or any young person or anyone for that matter should know that time goes way too fast.
Any young man or any young person or anyone for that matter should know that time goes way too fast.
One way to slow time down and inform your life is to lean into your emotions.
When you think something's funny, laugh out loud, when you're inspired by a piece of creative work, stop and think, why does this inspire me so much?
When you find something sad, lean into your emotions or movement and let yourself be emotional and it forms your life, it feels really good.
Have more empathy. aA lot of this is tied to economics. There's been a war on poor people and a war on kids. We just continue to transfer more and more economic opportunity to seniors. Older people in capitalist societies have figured out a way to vote themselves more money.
I just hope that you have a lot of angst and grief in your life, because those are the receipts for love and relationships.
Have more empathy. aA lot of this is tied to economics. There's been a war on poor people and a war on kids. We just continue to transfer more and more economic opportunity to seniors. Older people in capitalist societies have figured out a way to vote themselves more money.
I just hope that you have a lot of angst and grief in your life, because those are the receipts for love and relationships.
That is Scott Galloway's work. I did some minor editing for the sake of Continuity
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